mk456

Bat girl i didnt mean to hurt you i just care you know that i am not 'hitting' on you like they think i might as well pour my soul out into this one help with the sadness but look you i care no matter how many of your friends hated me no matter who said i was a waste of space called me a loser a waste of space a idot or how many times that i should die i never cared about that i took that with a grain of salt if u you will


becasue i know i have a friend who dose want me around laughs with me knows i am alive wants to stay that way she cares if i feel like doing a stupid choice and tells me not to do it i never really felt that from anybody my entire life i have been hated by most people i know and even didnt know hate just seems to follow me wherever i go i mean i make my mistakes i have done things i am not perticuarly proud off aww crap i really am not good with my emotions okay bat girl you know this i prefer to keep it all inside and brood in my won little world not get people involved but hey in the end you made me a better person thanks to you i got more friends then motaz and sameer who in the end we arent really as close we are friends but not like you and i are or where idk

I never cared who hated me and who didnt because i always told myself i am strong i dont need anybody relying on people is for the weak the country i come from its different then here i was raised tough and once again it has made me impervous to petty threats so i dont care what anybody says to me ive been alone most of my life my dad told me i can be strong i dont need anybody but in the end i chose to let some one in i only let you in bat girl i can put up with your friends i can put up with alot of people i was raised to take a bullet like a pinch hell ive stared death in the eyes no fear no not backing down ive done worst shit in my own country i know what 'tough' is and what is not perhaps i was meant to be a loner afterl all i dont wanna lose you bat girl but if i hurt you i rather i not hurt you anymore then do it again im human in the end but well i dont like to if it means hurting the ones i let in


crap i really am not good with this uhm i am truly sorry for hurting you and hell if it makes any difference i wont bother you anymore becasue i feel like i put up with them but while it dose not affect me it affects you and all i really care about is how you feel so if you still want to talk to me please do you know me i am always here for you and while i will never be as close to you as Fox i will try my best to at least get clsoe to that if you still wish to talk to me i really dont like losing firends especially the ones ive grown to care for this much but i feel like my exicstense is only bringing you sadness i heh hell the irony is i said this in my last entery every monster's weakness is his heart and i let you in you became my weakness because i know i can trust you and i will always trust you i am sorry to your friends who hate my guts i wont bother you anymore so dont worry this monster has lost its will to fight conflict makes even us monsters tired as scuh al leave her be i in the end i will just vanish into a lost forgatten memorie and i will walk alone again with everything oposing our friendship it truly means i am not meant to god this sucks losing my friend like this....i already lost a lover in this manner anothers selfishness the hate that it gave me was beyond i fought just like i did i fought fought fought but in the end fate won...i told myself i will always fight against faith i make my own path but i keep losing to this faith i lost a lover the one i knew was going to be the one but in the end a mans selfishness finally broke us apart and i lost her shanon its been 5 years but i love you my beloved it i will never forget you my love 5 years and what we had together still lives inside of me


we had many smiles many fun times but just as many momments filled with sorrow but in those momments we held each other cried in our arms and comfort our selves in our own arms however like before fate has won im tired sad angry and dissapointed and i cant bear the weight anymore i cant stand hurting you i dont wish to hurt you this monsters has already done enough i cant fight anymore so if your frineds see this let them kick me down some more if it makes them feel better but i will keep a line from a game that will always make me feel like i can live "do not hate humans if you cannot live with them then do them harm" i dont wish anything bad to your friends for hating me not bothering to know me for it is much more simple to brand me a monster and hate me then it is to understand me i dont want to fight anymore i just want god to takes this monster and give him rest from his constant fighting i dont want to fight be hated or hate anyone i just want this to stop i want to be able to have a friend and not lose it to fate ive been fighting fate for so long i cant bare to keep it up im tired...bat girl i hope if u do read this you dont hate more or hate or hell feel bad this is not your fault and you dont have to lose me talk to me i will talk to you but i want you to talk to your friends if you do wish to talk to me i dont want fight right know or anymore for a while

i am tired beaten wounded and beyond comprehendsion sad ive reached my limit this monsters just wants to be left alone to lick his wounds in peace from whoever bear ill harm to me but please bat girl if you do wish to still talk to me talk to your friends i cant take this anymore i lost so much and i dont want to lose more but i am tired i am so tired of all the hate and fighting i want in my life to not have to fight for something like a friend for once i want a friend that i dont have fight to keep i want a friend i can have and not be hated for having that friend bat girl i know i mean something to you you do care for me but i cant keep fighting for your friendship im tired bat girl please if you want to still talk to me please fight for me let me rest for a tleast a momment so i can fight again but for now i need you to fight for me if you see it worthy to fight for this monster that has lost its will and power well i guess this is all i can really say


if i can end this in a sort of bright note if i could call it that i decided al change my name to Seighart Belmont sounds fancy tell me how you feel about that

Hokay...Hokay so ive been reliving my old gaming stuff and going back into the past i got back to one of gamings greatest oldest series
while this series is not as recognized as mario zelda sonic its still great side scrolling action that was beyond awsome it is non other then castelvania the game itself its awsome challenging as fuck and not to mention great charachters

plus in some games you get a real insight on Draculas mind which shows you he isnt a monster just a man in eternal grieving and his ever growing anger for humanity was brought apun them by themselves for killing his wife Lusi which was the woman who gave him a form of humanity to him humans btouhgt it apon themselves for doing what they did they burned lusi draculas wife at the stake which caused him grief beyoned believe while as powerfull as he was the one thing that all 'monsters' have is the weakness of theri heart which in the end caused Dracula to hate humans so much but enouhg of that and my hate of humanity....>.> i mean we are the world...something something happy happy thoughts...whatever

point is im actually thinking of changing my name to or eather Trevor Belmont or Richter Belmont just cause i personally find my name a little boring and not as 'coo' or as exotic as i would have liked to think or hell just change my last name to belmont cose it sounds freaking cool kainda like that crazy lady in facebook that said she would name her baby optimus prime if she got like a million or something fallowers on her facebook lol but yeah i think if i do something like that al change my name to Richter Belmont legally and everything like i will even post my ID on Deviant art with the name changed to Richter Belmont or Trevor Belmont one fo the 2 i find it that it would make me feel better about myself if im named something  cool and exotic well perhaps not such an exotic name but yeah i do wish to be named that

Resident evil operation raccoon city is gonna be great by the look of the gameplay its definetly something new on the series
personally ive been playing resdient evil sience i was 8 and im 17 go figure and i love resident evil to death and i think this
new outlook and where resident evil is going is great not so muhc Re5 that was not a change from Re4 but operation raccoon city
is going somewhere new now here is my sort of rant on this.

1)NO......NO IT IS NOT LEFT4DEAD i cant even imagen why people would call this left for dead 4-player co-up...nothing new to the gaming industry...zombie infested city....again NOTHING NEW. Left 4 Dead is its own good game but in no way did it infulence capcom's Re team this has classes unique abilities multiple weapons a story and even plot twist to change the future left 4 dead leaves to be desired on story telling its mearly a more fun game of point a to b with zombies and other infected in the way. So please PLEASE do not compare this to Left 4 Dead because they are nothing alike thank you

2)THIS IS NOWHERE NEAR CALL OF DUTY. Winnie bitch says:uh its got classes like call of duty eww!!
NO.....NO because then this might as well be bad company brink any other mmo out there. having classes and perks is nothing new after Call of
Duty stablished it im not completly sure who started the trend but im refering to call of duty for this classes perks not new this is not near call of duty another big ass there on ur argument on this is call of duty...3rd person yah numb nuts =.= so please dont bitch about this being call of duty alot of games have classes and perks you might as well say that this game is like all those others if ur gonna bitch on that.

3)QUIT BITCHING RE PURIST A-HOLES i mean pursit becasue i cant tell you how many times ive been seeing 'eww go back to prerender graphics and shitty camera angles that keep all threats off screen uhhh' look i told you i loved re1 to 3 the ones that started it all exlcued survivor from that list do gah it was awful anywho look i will agree the fear factor that made us go 'holy shit what the fuck is that' or 'motherfucker i thought you wher dead now you munching on my leg when i pass by' look i get it alright i do i miss those too i remember scaring myself to death playing this games i was 8 the nightmares fking kept me awake yet i wouldnt quit playing heh. But you have ralise that Capcom has to keep the ball rolling not just stay back in the old age...back then that was new but now today its old and annoying especially to those who want to join the resident evil franchise. you guys bitch eww bring back the originals all i can say is STOP BEING A SELFISH DICK look remakes will be made becasue everyone demands them i know they will because capcom wont ignore their fan base especially the Re fan base will they keep crappy camera angles i cant say for sure i hope they do not but if they do i know it will be for u purist but chances are you will find something to bitch about on the remakes like i know you will because its just your thing again do change has to happen to the series to make it keep going a good example is call of duty 4 the campagin i mean not saying the mlty player is bad is good but the campagin is a better example for this perticular rant  now the cod4 campagin everyone was like 'omg its not WWII' and the graphics gameplay and story like in everytime i see a comment on the game a great cinematic campagin like being in a movie it was fresh new and it shocked the world especially when the nuke went off in the mission shock and awe now then came mw2 and the world orgasmed in that campagin especially on the contreversy of the no russian mission gunning down un-armed civilians it was a huge risk and it payed off beutifully to give the campagin a even more boost in the already kick ass meter and remember shock and awe like just mentioned yeah they grabbed that and like chris pumped it with steroids and made it revolutionary awsome black ops also did the same grabing mw2 theys aw it took the good added more good and made the good even better the campagin alone was well done and epic with more then enough action scenes also using the contriversial killing of castro to boost the campagin another big risk and it worked beutiuflly and you know something i have yet to see people go...eww fuck this lets go back to cod4 this sucks no okay they loved the change because its been good and dont even DARE to say the re4 change was bad the fan base of re spiked on re4 and not to mention bringing back leon made evryone go crazy the new gameplay and story made everyone go crazy even some of you purist dont deny it because it was new RE5 didnt do much but am graphics and add sheva...if she ever got out of the way and not wasted ammo id say she would have been so badly hated by some regardless it was great especially the playable wesker fight it was very good and i was glad to have baught the game

To end this on a good note or perhaps only for me

THANK YOU FOR THE 3K WORTH OF VIEWS GUYS REALLY I AM LIKE SHOCKED AND AWED...NO PUN INTENDED AT THIS I MEN I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN SO MANY VIEWS IT MAY BE A LITTLE TO MOST ON HERE BUT TO ME ITS A GREAT ACHIVEMENT-30G...LOL SORRY COULDNT HELP MY SELF BUT THANK YOU GUYS AND I HOPE I CAN EARN MORE VIEWS FROM YOU

okay okay so i bought fear 3 yeturday finsihed it in one day now the game itself is pretty long but i'm just that damn good and let me tell you this.......it is scary as hell oh almost forgot Becket shows up in the game and tells you what happened if u never played fear and never will this game should be played it will scare the ba-jesus out of you trust me i know


Alma Wade is pregnant with Beckets child......albiet it was rape but eh we can dwell on that some other time and everytime she has a
contraction it litterly breaks apart the fabric of time and space she is that powerfull now you play as eather point man or spencer or whatecer his name is the two brothers and as you know one of the brothers is bat shet crazy the other is somewhat sane and is trying to stop alma.

i wont give any spoilers for those who do have it but its veary awsome game you guys should check it out it will scare you i can promes you that
because i dont scare that easily but this guys are pretty damn good at it al tell you that

been a while sense i wrote on me jurnal so what i can update on is that gundam SEED/Destiny.....has sooo much fucking crying.....i mean yeah sure kids in war dose call for crying but like almost every episode some one had to cry....also i really hate Cagalli im sorry but she is the most useless character ever lets see.
1.annoying check

2.no real purppose check

3.annoying voice check

4.acting tough even do she cries more then everyone check

5.cant pilot a mobile suit worth a crap check

6.really annoys the hell out of me is her constat complaning checkmate

I gotta say all those times she was this clsoe to get killed i was OMGDOITDOITDOITDOIT..FUCKYOUMISSEDIHATEYOUSOMUCHYOUBITCHBITCHBITCH....anywho the one thing i liked after Athrun returns he forgives her and thats it i do no see any more Cagalli arthun crap i was jumping wiht joy because nothing happened id rather he taken that girl Mayren then her anywho she is just useless. okay to more pressing matters.

Gears Of War 3 is gonna be awsome and the first metal gear solid game for 360 is gonna be Metal Gear Solid RISING and let me tell you right know it is awsome